Month: January 2023

Okay, I’m not saying I’m burnt out, but there’s some definite smouldering going on right now…

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to get Fifth Ace Comics work done in between the day job and social obligations; even when I do get a free moment, I’m more likely to just try and take a breather. The day job is picking up as more people come out of the holiday malaise, and with the installation of inverters, soon there will be no more taking advantage of the load shedding hours; I’m having to squeeze in artwork wherever I can while attempting not to overdo things. Despite coming across as fairly simple, the day job can sometimes require a lot of concentration (especially when certain people can’t communicate properly), and during the busier parts of the day it gets pretty stressful.

I do plan on taking a break soon, but to maintain the update schedule, I have to keep going uninterrupted through February; that will bring Issue #3 of the Fifth Ace Showcase to a close, and I’d rather not leave it unfinished. I’m ever so slightly ahead of schedule, but social obligations from here to Sunday might throw that off a bit. The plan is to pull ahead in February, maybe get the last week before March free, and then take a break from the Showcase through March itself. Without the Mon-Wed-Fri update schedule, I’ll be able to recuperate a bit and fiddle around with some other things that I don’t currently have the time for. I did want to get in some Blender practice for the February story, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to refine it to the level I want in time; it would make elements of the story more visually distinct, but it’s no great loss if it doesn’t happen.

However, just because the Showcase will be on hiatus in March, doesn’t mean I’m going to be inactive. Magic Beans and Bottom of the Deck will continue as normal, since they are relatively low effort in comparison, and I’m going to take the extra time to try and boost my social media presence. Odds are that you reading this, are someone that I know personally because I’ve happened to tell you about my website; we don’t get as much traffic around here as you might think, and my social media insights leave a lot to be desired. As such, March is going to be my time to upload some eye-catching stuff all over the socials to try and direct more people here; I have an idea or two about how to go about this.

The big thing with a lot of social media these days is that they don’t like external links; putting a link to a different website in your post is almost guaranteed to have it buried. Unfortunately, that’s what most of my posts consist of, because I don’t want to put the artwork displayed on my website directly onto another platform; it kind of defeats the purpose of having a website, y’know? So with that in mind, I want to start uploading more standalone art pieces that I don’t mind having out there in the wild; I’ve also recently learned about Clip Studio’s time-lapse feature, so posting some short videos showing the drawing process will no doubt do wonders for my Instagram, at the very least.

But before all that happens, I’m going to finish powering through Issue #3, so that there’s no chance of leaving it unfinished for a year like I did with Issue #2. Wish me luck!

Ciao for now.

“You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can’t control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.”

That’s from the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, one of the great figures of Stoicism and someone who’s name was often mentioned when I introduced myself, because he’s also one of the most prominent people to have the name. I initially was going to go on a massive rant about opinions and the lack of acknowledgement thereof, but just typing it up was enough to vent the worst of it out, so you’ll be spared the vulgar terminology I used. Instead, maybe we’ll try a few less vitriolic musings on opinions.

I’ve always had trouble expressing my opinions; I often felt that I wasn’t allowed to when I was younger, so when I became an adult and was suddenly expected to express my feelings on things, I wasn’t sure how to do it. To this day, I still get the feeling that my opinion doesn’t matter most of the time, which is why I usually just go with the flow when anything happens. As the quote says, getting worked up over something that you can’t control is pointless, so why bother?

It’s different when you’re asked for an opinion that is implied to actually matter; your choices, your decisions, are going to make a difference that may affect your life. But then it turns out that they don’t; you’re just going to get overruled anyway, and this thing that you could have just glossed over and let happen has now gotten you worked up. That kind of thing can put me in a bad mood very quickly, especially if I’ve been inconvenienced in the process, because being thrown out of my habitual cycle can be jarring, even when I know it’s coming.

I have a great deal of admiration for Stoicism, but I don’t think it’s something I could ever fully embrace; I’m far too much of an emotional person, despite the front I try to put up. I come across as relaxed, carefree, oblivious at times, but underneath is a roiling mass of anxiety and fear of failure. I try not to form opinions about things I can’t control, and to get on with my life, but the truth is that I often care too much, especially about things that don’t really matter. And when things do matter… Well, then I’m just straight up paralyzed, because I don’t know if my opinion is going to be correct, or if anyone will even care, and we’re right back to the beginning again.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: I just want to be right about something, to have the correct opinion, and know that my life will be better for it. Heaven knows I’ve had incorrect opinions before, and I’ve changed my point of view many times to be a better person. But even after all that, it’s still nice when people listen, you know?

All this rambling about being heard and acknowledged, when I’m pretty sure the number of people who will read it is pretty minimal; at least I’m getting out of my system. Back to the creative stuff next week.

Ciao for now.

It’s 2023! Hopefully the first five days have been up to your standards, because I know I’ve already got plenty of stuff to talk about; strap in folks, this is a long one.

The newest Fifth Ace Showcase story began yesterday, featuring the new young hero Sable, though it was not the first thing to be uploaded this year. If anyone has been poking around the site since the calendar rolled over, you might have noticed a few new things around here. Right up there at the top, the main menu bar has been redone for a more streamlined experience; now instead of redundant links to the individual comics, they all have a dedicated landing page with links to the archives and some swanky new cast pages. There’s also an About page for a brief commentary on what this site is all about (I may jazz that up with a profile picture at some point), and a Gallery page with some miscellaneous artworks from the past few years that I’m particularly proud of.

The biggest update came through on Monday, which involved uploading 150 comic pages, plus thumbnails to match, so please look grateful; the entirety of Elements of Eve, all 9 issues, is now readable on this site. The first three issues were some of the first things uploaded here, and I fully intended to include the rest in short order, but I never got around to it. I was going to space them out over time, and somehow that extended into nearly two years; I took the plunge and just threw all of it up over the course of a day, just to get it over with. Feel free to check them out and marvel at what a mess my artwork was like ten years ago; I am still rather pleased with the writing, enough that I may even revisit it someday in the future.

As far as resolutions go, I’ve got all the standard ones lined up: exercise, healthy eating, etc. and boy do I need them, I’ve got holiday weight to shed. Additionally, something I’ve been trying for the last couple of years is a single tarot card draw for the year; I don’t necessarily believe in tarot as a mystical practice, rather as a means of organising the mind and drawing focus to what needs to be done. The draw for this year was the Seven of Cups.

The Seven of Cups represents a world of fantasy and imagination; it cautions against becoming lost in the idea of things, and dwelling on dreams instead of acting. Thus, it falls to me to be decisive, put things down on paper and make choices instead of just going with the flow like I always do. I’ve already made a start by getting my upload schedule back on track, but there was another choice that I made yesterday; it’s a decision I’ve been sitting on for five years, but the opportunity arose yesterday and I jumped on it.

Yes, that is a tattoo, and it is on my arm. I know that tattoos aren’t everyone’s thing, and may even be outrageous to some folks reading this, but rest assured that this is not something I have done lightly. I’ve been contemplating getting a tattoo ever since I left high school, but I held off because I wanted it to be something meaningful; it’s a big commitment, and I wasn’t about to spend money on something I would regret within a few months. It was several years ago that I finally settled on this design, and a lot of thought went into it; going into some heavy stuff in this next bit, so content warning.

The semicolon has long been a symbol for raising awareness about attempted suicide and suicidal thoughts; it represents moments where you could have put a fullstop on your life story, but instead of coming to an end, you came to a pause instead, and continued on. As someone who has battled depression for most of my life, there have been times when I wanted to give up. Thankfully, I’ve had a good support system of friends and family that have kept me grounded when things have gotten bad, and this is where the other part comes in. The icosahedron, or 20-sided Platonic solid, is the primary die used in Dungeons and Dragons; I truly believe that the friendships, creativity and experiences that I have found through role-playing games have saved my life more than once. Thus, this design incorporates some of the biggest aspects of who I am, and I’m proud that I can show it to the world. 

So, with a year ahead that is bound to be filled with choices, I intend to make them decisively and confidently, and now I’ve got a reminder that I’m capable of doing so right there on my skin. Best foot forward for 2023, let’s kick this pig!