This is going to be my last blog post for the year; let’s sum it all up as best we can.
2023 has been something of a rollercoaster, physically, mentally, emotionally, and all the other -allys as well. Many highs, more than few lows, bursts of progress and lengthy roadblocks, artistic expression and artistic burnout; it’s been the full package of the good, the bad, and the less-than-attractive. But the thing about a rollercoaster is that, once it’s done speeding you along, turning you upside down and making you want to throw up, it comes to an end; the cart slows down, you lift up the seat brace, and make your way on toward the next one. But you can always stop for ice cream and a visit to the gift shop before you climb into another death-defying contraption of evil; the holiday period is my path towards the next rollercoaster.
In terms of life and living, this year was full of uncertainty. The house hunting began almost as soon as 2023 did, and we had hoped to wrap it up by June; obviously that didn’t happen. I emotionally detached myself from finding a new place to live and resolved to let whatever happened happen, since it was out of my hands and I wasn’t looking to get said hands dirty. I had enough other things on my mind and less time on my hands than others; the detachment kept my anxiety down and my spirits… I won’t say “higher” but at the very least moderately elevated in comparison. Fortunately, even if we didn’t find a new house, we at least found a new living space thanks to the efforts of my wonderful fiance; she lucked out in finding the ideal spot for the next stage of her own journey in the coming year, and I’m so grateful to still be able to share a home with her and our cats.
Artistically speaking, I accomplished more this past year than I have in a long time, even if it wasn’t as much as I had planned. Of a potential three or four issues of the Fifth Ace Showcase, I only finished two, but I’m still proud of what I was able to do with them; I tried a lot of new things, most of which worked out well, and I had fun doing so. Outside of the website, I’ve experimented with various other things, but have not kept as consistent as I would have liked; with an ever-changing sleep schedule and the inconsistency of workflow in the day job, completing things in a timely manner has been difficult. This could change if/when I find a new job, but in the meantime, I want to use my pockets of free time (at home and at work) in a more productive manner; I need to be less lenient with my deadlines and commit myself to getting specific things out at specific times. By breaking down my creative goals into smaller, manageable goals, I can skirt between them to finish the overall task more efficiently. I already have a bingo card with my art goals for next year laid out; next step will be to tackle each one, one bit at a time.
As far as my mental state goes, I’ve been improving over the course of the year; despite starting to feel cramped in our small home and stressing over several things at various times, my brain has more or less balanced out, except in one area in particular. This ties to my physical state, so let’s lump them together, “lump” being the appropriate word. I am not happy with my body; I’ve never really liked my body in general (which is probably why I also dislike having pictures taken of me), but considering that I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and running out of notches on my belt, it’s time I did something about it. Having a bigger living space means that I can’t use the excuse of having no room to move anymore; I have to get some exercise in. I’ve been looking into workout plans, similar to what I did earlier in the year, but starting off with easier exercises and building my way up. At the same time, like I mentioned last week, I want to look into meal prep strategies so that I can eat healthier without having to cook every night; I fell asleep at 7pm last night, I was so exhausted, so having a ready-made meal for when I get home in the evening will be an absolute blessing. Combining the healthier food and consistent exercise, I may just be able to make my body lighter, and hopefully not my wallet.
So, all that being said, what does the year boil down to, and what does it mean for 2024? Well, it’s all much the same really: thank FRICK this year is over, let’s make the next one better; it’s the usual bevy of New Year’s resolutions: eat healthier, get in some exercise, work harder, find a better job, improve life all around. Hardly original, but still highly relevant, perhaps now more than ever; it’s going to take some commitment, more than I’ve ever managed to muster in the past, but commitment to goals is how you get through life, even if the goal is just to live.
With that, I’m signing off for the rest of the year; the next Bottom of the Deck post will be on January 4th, and hopefully the next issue of the Fifth Ace Showcase will begin on the 5th. Happy Holidays to those who celebrate in your preferred manner, best wishes for the New Year, and I’ll see you all in 2024; I have several ice creams I wish to consume before the next rollercoaster.
Ciao for now.