Month: March 2025

Bottom of the Deck – 2025/03/24

Posted on 24/03/2025 by Fifth Ace

Happy Birthday to me; 36 revolutions around the Sun and counting.

I’ve stated in the past how I feel about my birthday; it’s often a mixed bag of emotions, not a lot of them really that positive, and I was very much not in the best headspace as this one approached. The events of the last couple of months, my perceived slowness on my personal projects, the general lack of direction; not the greatest combination when approaching a milestone that a lot of other people have reached while achieving something substantial with their lives.

Fortunately, I was lucky enough to attend a lunch with friends and family yesterday in recognition of the event, and on top of having a substantial home-cooked meal for a change, I was able to talk with the people that I feel safest with outside of my home and fiancee. I spilled my guts a bit and they were all very understanding; they offered positive words, outside perspectives and an overall positivity that I’d been having trouble finding within myself. My fiancee has been telling me the same things for months, but hearing it come from more than one source made it seem all the more real.

A creative is their own worst critic, and taking a look from the outside throws my harshest self-criticisms into sharp relief against the achievements that others can perceive. I bemoan my lack of consistency; others can see that I’m drawing and uploading stuff on the daily. I talk down the amount of progress I’ve made; others point out that I’m still doing something, speed be damned. I feel dissatisfied with my art; others all praise my improvement and ever-increasing portfolio. It felt so good and so uplifting to hear someone else tell me that I’m wrong, that my self-deprecation is a skewed perspective because I can only see myself from the inside.

I can only remind myself so much about the marathon that is life, that sprinting to the end is neither logical nor healthy; to hear it from the people closest to me is a gift that I will treasure more than any other birthday present. There is no greater present than a future, and it means the world to me to be reminded that I still have a chance to build one.

Ciao for now.

Bottom of the Deck – 2025/03/01

Posted on 01/03/2025 by Fifth Ace

Wait, it’s been how long since I did a proper blog post?

Unlike some previous instances, my lack of full-length blog posts has been something that just sort of evolved organically out of doing the #gentlecomicshabit posts; with me posting something almost daily, I kind of didn’t have much to talk about in one extensive post like this. It’s also why you may not have seen a #gentlecomicshabit post in a few days: I’m running out of stuff to talk about.

Aside from me losing my job, and indeed because of it, I don’t have a lot of stuff that goes on in my life. I don’t have the financial security to take exciting vacations, most media I consume is easily streamed directly to my computer or phone so I don’t need to leave the house for entertainment, and there haven’t been a lot of major conventions happening yet this year. As such, I’m at home keeping myself busy while casting out my line into the endless sea of the job market, and the fish aren’t exactly biting.

That said, as an introverted, undiagnosed-but-highly-likely neurodivergent individual, keeping myself busy/entertained has never been difficult. The #gentlecomicshabit, while having slowed down somewhat, has nonetheless gotten me back into the swing of drawing, which was always the intent behind it. Magic Beans has made a return with weekly updates, and the pages of the Fifth Ace superhero universe (I should come up with an easier name for that…) are chugging along; the first issue is fully scripted, thumbnailed and lettered, with nearly half the pages penciled and counting. I don’t know if I’ll have it finished before my birthday, but that is a goal to work towards.

In terms of other art, I’ve been keeping an eye on several accounts that I follow with regards to art challenges and throwing my hat in the ring on as many as I can handle, whether it’s for original characters, fan art, pose references, anything; a lot of people check out these things, so it’s good for exposure. For example, there’s a new March Amalgam challenge making the rounds on socials; I had a lot of fun with last year’s challenge and I’m already several pieces ahead on this one. By the end of the month, it’ll be one more box off my Art Bingo card for 2025.

On top of all that, combining my art with my income issues, I’m in the process of refining my Ko-Fi page; soon I’ll be doing a proper relaunch with subscription tiers, where I intend to have exclusive rewards for anyone willing to sign up. I should have everything in order closer to when the first issue of the Fifth Ace superhero ‘verse (seriously, it needs a better name…) is complete; I’m planning for WIP previews, bonus artwork and pinups, as well as discounts on the full issues when purchased through the Ko-Fi store. It’s going to be a lot of work, but again, it’s not like I’m going anywhere right now.

That about sums everything up so far, I’m going to get some food.

Ciao for now.