So, it’s been a while.
Welcome back to Bottom of the Deck, my weekly blog about life, the universe and everything ie, my life, my local universe, and everything that’s been happening in it. It’s been several years since I last blogged on a regular basis, but I think I’ve finally reached a point where I’m keen to share my thoughts, feelings and opinions again, if only in my own little corner of the Internet. This week, a musing on the nature of mistakes and responsibility.
I used to do this on Fridays, and I had been thinking of doing Thursday uploads instead, but something happened this past week that made me put it off until Saturday. While I fully intend to vent about it now, doing so on Thursday would have been a bad idea; my head-space at the time was frustrated, angry, and downright hostile. Having brought the boil down to a simmer, I’m more inclined to talk about it in a civilized manner.
To make a very long story short, I’m getting an official verbal warning from work; a mistake is being placed exclusively on me that cost the company a significant amount of cash. While I’m not going to deny, I did have something to do with it, I still followed company procedure to the letter, and if the client involved had bothered follow it as well, we might not have ended up in this situation.
I initially wrote a 700 word treatise to properly explain the whole situation, but looking back on the full page of venting made me feel even more exhausted; it would have been me just shouting my case to the wind when the final decision has already been made, so there’s not much point.
So I will take the verbal warning; I will accept responsibility for my mistake, despite my adherence to the structure of the work-flow where it was otherwise ignored, and I will hope for a harmonious work environment in the future. Though I know that the others in the studio have my back and HR fought to make my case, I have a feeling there’s going to be a stink-eye peering down at me from up on high for a while.
In the past, I would have been on the verge of an anxious breakdown because of my mistake costing the company money; today, it’s just one more check-mark on the tally of daily frustrations in the workplace. I could fill a dozen blog posts with that kind of thing, although I feel like most people could; that doesn’t mean I’m not still looking for a less toxic workplace.
Point is, I feel like I’m dealing with the situation a lot better than I would have before. Yes, I was angry in the moment, I’m still frustrated now, but by the time they give me that warning tomorrow, I’m going to likely be mostly indifferent. I know what I did right, I know what I did wrong, and I know that other people are just as much to blame as I am; I just have to make peace with the fact that not everyone is going to see it that way. Trying to argue a case when the decision has already been made is just going to be extra frustrating, and there are far more important things happening than stressing over something I can’t change i.e. other people’s minds.
I was going to try and segue this into something about the WandaVision finale, but I’ll save that for next week once everyone’s had a chance to see it or have it spoiled for them; if you’re still dodging spoilers by this time next week, then I can’t guarantee your safety.
That’s all for this week, I’m calling it here.
Peace, out.