Category: Blog

Hi there, not going to stop by for long, got to keep pumping!

Take that how you will.

It’s been a productive week; since I took most of last week off in order to keep from straining my arm, I’ve been using this week to catch up. I managed to upload three days in a row, and I may just make it four by the end of this evening, if I can get the colours done in time for this latest page. This was somewhat helped by the fact that I also took a couple of days off from the day job so that I could visit the doctor; I had to do something with the rest of my time, didn’t I?

I’m still waiting on test results to find out exactly what is wrong with my arm; the doctor I visited says it may be something spinal related as opposed to the shoulder, based on the kind of nerve compression I’m experiencing. I’ve had a couple of x-rays and an MRI, so hopefully they’ll be able to tell me what is going on by tomorrow. In the meantime, because it’s not directly a problem with my arm, I can still draw as much as I want; as long as I keep my back in a favourable position, I can do my stuff without noticing any major discomfort. I’ve even woken up a few mornings thinking that the pinching sorted itself out overnight, but alas, a few minutes of walking and the motions involved make it clear that I’ve still got something going on in there.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had issues regarding nerve compression in my spine, though the last instance was far more severe. Back in 2014, I had a benign growth removed from my spinal column where it had been putting pressure on the nerves between the C3 and C4 vertebrae (that’s about halfway between the base of the skull and shoulders, for those unsure). By the time I went under the knife, I had lost almost all sensation in my left forearm, my grip had significantly weakened, and if I had ignored it any further, I would have been paralyzed within a year. Needless to say, pretty serious, though I emerged on the other side with surprisingly little nerve damage; the surgeon was amazed that I recovered as quickly as I did.

I am confident that whatever is happening this time is far less severe, and given the placement of the nerve compression (around the C6 vertebra), this is not a relapse of the previous condition. I’ll likely just have to take a course of anti-inflammatory meds, a painkiller here and there, and this can sort itself out with a deep tissue massage or something. I’ll know more by next week, and will keep you all appraised of the situation as it develops.

Other than that, not much else to talk about; I’m gonna go eat some pizza, and get the next Showcase page done and dusted. If I don’t get the final page done by tomorrow night (other professional engagements call) then it will definitely be done over the weekend before I launch into the next one on July 5th. Suppose I’d better finalise which story that will be…

Ciao for now.

Look at that, I can type again! Let’s see how long it all lasts.

I’ve been taking it easy for the past week, trying to get my shoulder back into normal working order; for the most part, it’s been going well. The pain is more or less gone, just some occasional stiffness and a bit of tingling in my fingers, but I’m making sure to stretch and massage the spot where I suspect a nerve might have been pinched. If it’s not sorted by next week, I have an appointment with an orthopaedic surgeon lined up for Monday.

In the meantime, I’m doing my best to get back to drawing. I did some quick pinup pics for my Fodderverse friend over on Twitter, just to see if my arm was still functional; good news: it was, so comics should resume tomorrow, or Monday at the latest depending on my workload. I can’t guarantee that this Showcase story will be done before the end of the month, but I’d rather my arm didn’t fall off instead, so we’ll see how that progresses.

I won’t lie, it was a little scary when I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to draw anything this week; I didn’t leap to any conclusions, but because I was doing my best not to aggravate my injury, I found myself temporarily cut off from my go-to creative outlets, and that can be dangerous for someone whose brain never shuts up. It’s situations like those that become breeding grounds for intrusive thoughts and paranoid assumptions, not to mention the guilt; I take time off for my own wellbeing, then feel incredibly guilty that I’m not doing anything productive, whether that be creative stuff or even just housework. Fortunately, I’ve still got those herbal tranquillisers, which have also been instrumental at keeping my anxiety in check at the day job.

The pinup art that I’ve been able to sneak in during my free moments was an even greater help than the medicine. It’s somewhat telling that I get infinitely more personal satisfaction out of seeing one person appreciate the art I do for them, than I do from churning out dozens of impersonal mock ups for faceless clients week after week at the day job. The dopamine just hits differently; knowing that I can make someone happy by producing a quality artwork is the ultimate satisfaction for me as a creative. I think it’s the reason a lot of people get into comics as an industry, because the artistic satisfaction can be coupled with entertaining people. Sadly, it’s a depressing fact that the industry isn’t so kind to the people involved.

A recent trend on social media saw the rise of #ComicsBrokeMe, with a bunch of comic creators, both artists and writers, coming forward with stories of being underpaid and overworked after years of dedication in a medium that they loved. While I’ve been through less than a fraction of the same struggles during my time as a creator (most of these stories come out of working with bigger publishers), I have been stiffed on payment for comic work before, and I think it had a hand in why I held myself back for as long as I did. I’ve long had a problem with giving up prematurely when things have tripped me in the past; this website was dead for over a year, lest we forget, and it’s been an uphill battle to convince myself to keep going in the face of hardship; hardships such as, say, a shoulder injury that put a serious dampener on my creative abilities.

With all that said, I intend to keep on creating, even if it’s never going to bring me fame and fortune, as nice as that would be. I create because I have to; even if I were sitting pretty atop a mountain of gold, I’d still be creating. It’s not a get-rich-quick scheme (heck it’s barely a get-rich-slowly scheme), it’s a fundamental need, and I’m not going to stop; keep an eye out for said creations coming soon.

Ciao for now.

Welcome to a very special weekend edition of Bottom of the Deck; it’s two days late because I’ve had to type it one-handed, and I’m not used to hunting-and-pecking, so my words-per-minute are a bit low.

You may have also noticed that the Showcase updates have been uploading rather late in the day. The reason for that is the frequent breaks I’ve been having to take while drawing; I seem to have done something to my shoulder, and it would be the one of my drawing arm. I’ve had an x-ray done; there’s nothing broken or dislocated, so it’s something muscle or tendon related, possibly with some nerve pinching going on. I’ve got myself in a makeshift sling to keep things from stretching/compressing in the wrong way until I can see a specialist next week.

This might lead to subsequent Showcase pages being a bit sporadic for the rest of the month; I’ll try and make sure the story wraps up before July, but I may take a day or two off so that I don’t put undue stress on my arm. In the meantime, I’ll have to restrict myself to writing if I want to be creative; it’ll still be tricky since I’ll only be using my left hand to type. Maybe I’ll pull out a nice, easygoing solo game that doesn’t require a lot of hand/eye coordination to pass the time at home while I watch the kitties.

That really does sum up everything about my past week; there may or may not be more stuff to talk about next time, but for now, I’m going to take it easy for the rest of the weekend.

Ciao for now.

My character ARC continues, and I forgot my soothing meds at home today, let’s go…

The Fifth Ace Showcase returned this week, and shall continue to update on schedule, provided that there are no major upheavals in the days to follow. This marks the beginning of Issue #4, and I have a feeling that this story, and the ones that follow, will probably make this one of the darker issues I’ve done to date. I’ve hinted at some of the darkness of my little superhero universe in the previous issues, but I think this one may have some potentially unnerving implications for things to come. I don’t intend to make this series a horror show or a dark drama; cynical as I may be in real life, I like to write stories about good overcoming evil and hope existing in the world. Even at my darkest, I always aim for a happy ending, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be some drama along the way, or it wouldn’t be a satisfying payoff, otherwise.

That said, there is most definitely an edgier side to… y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever given my superhero universe its own name. “The Fifth Ace Universe” doesn’t quite roll off the tongue the same way “Marvel Universe” does; I’ll keep brainstorming. But I digress; I’ve mentioned something called “The Nadir” in a few of the Showcase stories so far, and it has yet to be fully explained in-story. While it’ll eventually come up in full at some point, what I can tell you is that The Nadir is a prequel era to the current stories, which are set in “The Zenith” of Apex City. The Nadir takes place approximately 15 years before the current stories, featuring the older superheroes of Apex in their prime, before giving way to the new generation in The Zenith.

It’s my intention to explore the stories of this previous generation in a supplement to the regular stories in the Showcase, done in a nifty greyscale screentone style, but given my lack of free time, it hasn’t come to fruition yet. The plan is to eventually release the various issues of Fifth Ace Showcase as paid digital downloads, or make them available through a crowdfunding site like Patreon, and the Tales from the Nadir would be included as exclusive backup stories as incentives for purchase. As such, until such time that I actually have a crowdfunding site set up, and the free time to draw these tales, they will remain untold for now.

In relation to all this, I wouldn’t mind trying out some darker storytelling in general; while I believe the superhero genre should remain optimistic (despite what some modern writers might have you believe), there are plenty of other genres where a cynical tone can thrive. I was recently reminded of my playthrough of Ironsworn through a convoluted train of reminders that I won’t get into, and that game is almost the definition of bleak. I did have the idea of adopting my playthrough (which you can watch on my YouTube channel, icon is on the right) into an illustrated serial, along the lines of Prince Valiant: more prose, fewer panels, in a more Frazetta-inspired painterly and/or sketchy style. Ironically, that playthrough ended on a rather positive note, but there was a lot of drama throughout that would suit a pulp adventure quite well. One more thing to add to the pile of potential projects…

How about that; I wrote a blog post on my comic website that is actually about the comics for once instead of spending the entire time angsting about my life; just a touch of it here and there to keep things thematic. Hopefully now that I’m getting back into the groove of creating, that’ll start becoming the norm, provided that life doesn’t throw me anything more to angst over.

Ciao for now.

Welcome back to the Anxiety Roller Coaster, or ARC; maybe from now on I’ll just refer to it as my “character ARC.”

As the opening statement implies, things have been all over the place this past week; for every peak, there is a trough, or vice versa. I’ve been taking some herbal tranquilisers (that’s not a euphemism, smartasses; I’m talking about Biral) to keep my anxiety in check, as well as laying off the caffeine and sugar where I can so as not to aggravate it in any way. I’m still trying to get to a therapist, but my work schedule makes it difficult to find the time, so it might still be another week before that goes anywhere. In the meantime, I’m managing myself in any way I can; sometimes that’s visiting friends for a day of board games, or just zoning out on the couch watching YouTube and letting my brain settle down.

The day job continues to frustrate; we’re switching over to a new estimation and workflow system, and the teething problems are very real. In addition, the lack of consistency in the number of jobs we get means that I cannot afford to relax, even when there is no work coming in; at least if I’m busy, I can distract myself well enough. I’m also glad I got my new earphones in; there’s always that one person in the workplace that sings along to the radio, ruining the listening experience for everyone, and has to be drowned out. Also also, ever had a co-worker with an annoying ringtone? I have three. Spotify is my lifesaver.

Kitten update: Sparrow’s neutering surgery went well; he bounced back very quickly, and hasn’t shown any signs of distress. He’s still full of life and energy, though thankfully not quite as hair-pullingly disruptive as he was before; he’s gone from zooming around the flat like a bolt of lightning, to settling for harassing our other cat, Silver. Sparrow obviously just wants to play, but Silver is still very standoffish towards him; she’s a few years older and enjoys the sedentary life, but she can still give Sparrow the smackdown if he needs to be put in check. Hopefully once we move out and have more space, they won’t have to live on top of each other so much. Speaking of which…

The house hunting continues; we’ve got our eye on a couple of places, but as always, it’s out of our hands since we don’t control the money. It is becoming more imperative that we find a place, since Sparrow’s extended stay has not gone unnoticed by our landlord; he has reluctantly allowed Sparrow to stay, provided that we pay an extra fee on top of our rent increase. Fortunately, as we have been model tenants (his words), our landlord has not increased the rent too much, and has said that he will not charge us any penalties for ducking out of our lease early if/when we find a new place, as long as we give him a month’s notice. We were extremely worried that we might have to rehome Sparrow, as we didn’t have much luck with that when we first brought him home, and especially now that we’ve come to consider him part of the family. It was a huge relief to know that we could keep him, but I was definitely fretting for a day or two.

So, as I continue to soundwave back and forth between stress and relief, next week will see the launch of the next Showcase story; whether it’ll be up to the standards I want or not, I don’t want to keep putting it off.

Ciao for now.

You may have noticed last week’s blog is missing; I was informed that it may compromise our agents in the field, so it has been annulled for the sake of national security.

Real talk time: I’ve not been doing so well lately. I’ve been frustrated at the day job, stifled in my living space, stressed out socially, blocked creatively, and just all around exhausted. Individually, these problems would be nothing new, but they’re each building pressure from a different angle, and it’s really starting to get me down. All of this pressure could be released if we could just move to a new home, but there is literally nothing we can do about that except wait for the people who are in control of that situation to actually do something, and good luck to that happening anytime soon; we’ll be lucky if we get to move out before the end of the year at this rate.

I’ll be reiterating all of this to my therapist at some point; I’m currently organising my first therapy session in almost 18 months. Therapy has helped me a lot in the past; I started in 2019, back when my living situation was simultaneously better and yet so much worse than it is now. I won’t say that I’ve backslid to where I was, but I’d rather avoid letting myself go that far down again; I have more responsibilities that I did before, and I can’t afford to slip up now.

Speaking of which, the Fifth Ace Showcase is still on track to resume on the 5th of June, barring any major upheavals, like, say, moving to a new house (I can still dream). I’ve been trying to keep my creativity sharp by doodling in my spare time at work, mostly characters from my Twitter neighbour MakeMineAmalgam and his Fodderverse line of custom action figures. It’s low pressure fanart with no deadline i.e. quick and simple to produce with little to no judgement involved; he likes the fact that I draw his characters, and I enjoy drawing them, so win-win.

Also, kitten update: Sparrow is getting big; I swear he’s twice the size he was when I brought him home, and he’s absolutely full of beans. He’s been keeping us up at night by bolting around the place and trying to climb on everything; the sooner we can get him more space and a decent sized cat-tree to keep him satisfied, the better (again, that new house would be very nice, universe). Since he’s around the right age for it, we’re looking to get Sparrow neutered in the near future; the last thing we need is him tearing up all our stuff in a fit of heat. At this point, we are more or less committed to keeping him, and every foster home we’ve looked into is full anyway, so we’re in this for the long haul.

That’s all for my angst this week, though if any of it gives the great cosmic consciousness a hint that we would really like to move into a new house very very soon, it was worth it.

Ciao for now.

I’m running out of excuses here, aren’t I?

So I’m almost two weeks overdue for new comic pages, and it’s looking like the hiatus will be lasting longer still. I could go on about how the day job is sapping my energy, how our continued hurry-up-and-wait situation when it comes to house hunting is frustrating me, and all the usual reasons I give; I mean, they’re all true, but that’s not the point. Instead, I’m resorting to “dissatisfaction with my art” for a semi-fresh option.

I’ve been agonising over the opening page for this next story; the establishing shots are relatively more ambitious than what I’ve done in the past. I’m shooting for a certain atmosphere and feel, and I’m just not quite getting there. I’ve found some nice downloadable materials and I’ve been looking up relevant references to figure it all out, but it’s still missing the mark. I know that I may not be up to the level I want to be when it comes to art, and I’m never going to get there unless I push myself a little; the trade off is that the artwork itself is delayed.

So, in light of this, the Showcase will return in June, rather than any time this month. That doesn’t mean I won’t still be working on stuff until then; I’m going to use the rest of May to work out the kinks in my art, and maybe even build up a buffer for a change. I hate to delay things so long, but if I try to rush out all the pages before the end of May, not only is the artwork going to suffer for it, but I’m going to just burn out a lot quicker again.

Though I’m never going to be perfectly satisfied with my art, I still want to make sure it’s as good as I can get it; a wise man once said: “You develop taste faster than you develop skill.” I know why I dislike my art, I just don’t necessarily have what it takes to make it better yet; the sooner I can get on that the better, but I’m not going to subject you all to the entire gruelling process. At least, not unless I start streaming again; wouldn’t that be a novelty?

If I can shift the blame anywhere else, it would be the inconsistency of the day job; normally I’d relish any chance to use any spare moment to draw when there’s a slow work day, but that’s not conducive to doing comic work. If I’m working on a sketch or a doodle, that’s no problem, as I can put it away in between work assignments and come back to it later on. Comic pages are a different story; not only does breaking the flow of work disrupt the creative process, I also use Clip Studio Paint for my comic work, and because I can’t install it on multiple machines, I have to use my laptop for that; it doesn’t look good when I pull out my laptop to do my own stuff at my work desk. Starting to miss those two hour load shedding breaks…

I occasionally keep myself sane by doodling on Photoshop on the work PC; keep an eye on my Instagram and Twitter (for as long as that still exists) and you might see my random flashes of inspiration that I manage to squeeze into the spare minutes. 

Okay, enough excuses for this week, I’m going to go try and wrestle some results out of myself, and I’ll hopefully have something better to complain talk about next time.

Ciao for now.

Okay, so maybe ComicCon hit me a little harder than I thought…

I fully intended to get the first page of the new Showcase story out yesterday, but I had forgotten how much essential recovery time after a convention was required. Don’t get me wrong, ComicCon Cape Town was a resounding success, I’m sure it will continue to be so in years to come, but holy cow are we out of practice when it comes to conventions. It’s been three or four years since the last full-fledged pop-culture convention took place in our city, and we’ve been so eager to get back to it that I don’t think we fully appreciated just how much energy it takes.

That said, I had a truly fantastic time being there. While I wasn’t running my own booth, I did spend about 95% of the convention at The Dragon Wagon, selling my fiancé’s TTRPG dice; I’m totally okay with this, I’ve always been more at home behind a table and greeting people as they go by. Sure, it means I have limited contact with my fellow attendees, but it does help prevent my introverted brain from being overwhelmed. In any case, I still saw a bunch of old friends; some were from my former workplace, and we could reminisce about the past traumas of that crapshoot; one of my best friends still based in my hometown, showed up unannounced and surprised us; I even had a few strangers come up and tell me that they follow my comics and this blog, so shout-out to all of you for letting me know that people actually read this stuff! 

Also, a big congrats to my fiancè herself, MittelElfCat, for winning Best Wig at the regional cosplay competition, and for her TV news interview that allowed her to show off her Geralt cosplay to the nation, love you hun <3

The most astounding thing was how well our stock was doing; most of the more expensive dice sets were gone before the end of Thursday, and we dwindled down to almost nothing before we even got to Sunday; never underestimate the allure of shiny math rocks to those in the D&D crowd. To say that we made an absolute killing is an understatement; I won’t give specific numbers, but let’s just say that we made more money in four days than I usually make in four months. I don’t know exactly how to feel about that, but it shines a harsh light on my day job, that’s for sure…

All this to say, the Con wiped us out in the best ways possible, and coupled with a sudden spike in workload at the day job, I’m still getting myself back into the swing of things with drawing. On top of that, I made a last minute decision to swap out which story I would be presenting first for this next issue; it wasn’t the one I initially had in mind, nor one that I even had lined up for this issue, but it’s the one I wanted to tell the most. Plus I already had a breakdown of it prepped in advance, so we’re going with it.

Hopefully I’ll be able to kick off this story tomorrow, if I get a chance to breathe at all today.

May the Fourth be with you.

Ciao for now.

I’m writing this up a few days in advance, because I’m planning on uploading this early in the morning, and I won’t have time to do it before heading out to the first day of ComicCon Cape Town!

Due to a combination of illness, intermittent electrical problems and malfunctioning wi-fi, to say that this past week was “a lot” is a bit of an understatement; I barely felt like we had a weekend up until the last 8 hours of Sunday. Fortunately, we seem to have our business together, and we’re going to be making the most of the long weekend by making it the best convention we possibly can.

Also, since Monday is a public holiday, the Fifth Ace Showcase will be resuming on Wednesday May 3rd, after I have recovered from a post-convention coma.

That’s all I’m going to say for this week, I’ll let you know next time how it all went; if you’re one of the lucky people who managed to get a ticket to ComicCon before they all sold out, come swing by The Dragon Wagon over in The Block and check out our wide variety of dice!

Ciao for now.

Blaze it! There, now that’s out of the way…

Bit of a late post today, the day job has basically turned into an assembly line; I’m going to be stuck on the current job all day tomorrow, and it will have to continue into the weekend to be ready by Monday. However, I don’t get paid overtime, so I’m not going anywhere near the office on Saturday or Sunday; so-called “company loyalty” isn’t going to pay for my lunch off the food carts at ComicCon next week, so if they want me in there, they’ll have to show me something a little more substantial. 

Speaking of ComicCon, with only a week left to go, it’s a bit of a madhouse around the home as well, though not really for me. My lovely fiance is in crunch mode for getting her cosplays done, on top of juggling her online studies, her part-time job, and the stock for The Dragon Wagon table; I help out where I can, but I can only do so much. My best bet is to just be here for emotional support, and I’ve been told I’m very reliable in that regard; if there’s any job where “company loyalty” matters, it’s being a partner in life to someone you love.

Also, after ComicCon is over, it’s going to be back on the grindstone for comics on this site again. I’m looking forward to getting back to the Showcase; I’ve been doodling a lot in my free moments, so I think I’m a little artistically deprived at this point. I’ll be aiming for the regular three Showcase pages per week, along with Magic Beans on Tuesdays once more, though don’t be surprised if updates become sporadic at any point; “company loyalty” means a lot to me when it comes to my own work, but it’s a lot to fit into my timetable these days. Hopefully, a major disruption in uploads will be due to moving house rather than any kind of burnout, though still nothing confirmed on that front.

With regards to moving, Sparrow is still quite comfy here in our little space. Our landlord hasn’t brought him up in conversation at all in the past month, so he seems to be okay with Sparrow still being around. We’re not bringing up the subjects of his vaccinations or foster homes, so we’ll cross that bridge only if we absolutely have to; our loyalty to having Sparrow’s company – okay, that’s stretching the term a little bit, but long story short, we don’t want to give him up, and we’re not planning on doing so. We may need someone to watch him over the ComicCon weekend, since we’re going to be out for most of the time, but we’ll make something work.

So after all that, I can say that my loyalties lie with those that grant me good company.

I have no idea where I was going with all that, I’m going to get an early night.

Ciao for now.